Ch. 11 – The Dragon Killer
It was a quiet trip back to Kison, the occasional small talk with Andiz doing little to lift anyone’s spirits. Zikee did what she could to indulge him, but she’d never been very good at the art, always preferring to let her husband lead the conversations. So when Ty flew off again the moment she’d dropped them home, it didn’t come as surprising. Andiz sighed anyhow.
“I wouldn’t coddle her, gentle wing,” Zikee said. “She may not like it.”
The healer slumped against the front door, falling to the ground. 
“I know. But she’s our friend, Kiki. And she’s hurting.”
“And I’m sure you will help heal that. In time.”
He folded his arms, pulling his knees to his chest. She’d only ever seen him get like this with her before. If it was anyone else, she might have been jealous.
But then, this wasn’t just anyone else, was it? As much as Zikee hated to admit it, even she found herself a bit worried for the halfling’s sake. Ty had willingly walked away from her vengeance. She had her tormentor in blade’s reach, and yet she chose to walk away. So where did that leave her now? 
She had no reason to associate with them any longer. There were more founders to find, but who was to say she wouldn’t show them mercy as well? Would she still want to pursue them given Qui told them everything and more? The questions unnerved Zikee more than she cared to say. She sat down next to Andiz, still dwarfing him in size, though he didn’t seem to mind. He even leaned his head against her arm.
“You heard what that founder said, Kiki.”
Zikee nodded silently.
“Ty’s as much a victim in all this as we are. I just wish I knew how to help.”
Zikee gently stroked his head.
“We don’t owe her anything, gentle wing,” she said.
“I know. But she’s-”
“Our friend?”
Andiz looked up at her, his eyes shining with a mixture of surprise and concern. Zikee let out a long breath, partially detesting the fact that she had to speak so truthfully. But being the wife of a healer, she’d long since made her peace with having such terrible conversations.
“I won’t pretend like I always enjoy her company,” she said. “That one is as much a pain in the side as a sword cut sometimes. But yes, Andiz. I would consider her our friend. She may be a dragon, but she’s given me no reason to distrust her.”
And yet she’d given her several reasons to not feel the same.
Every time she’d look at her with the same disdain she did the Silver Dragon. Or when she practically spat the word halfling to her in anger. Or the countless times she’d made it clear Ty was nothing but a tool. A means to an end. Thinking on it, she truly was no better than Valentina, wasn’t she? Andiz seemed to sense her thoughts, putting a hand on her face.
“Sorry,” he said. “I suppose she isn’t the only one hurting, is she?”
She couldn’t meet his gaze, instead pulling the hand off her cheek.
“Don’t…”
She wasn’t even sure what she wanted to say. Don’t look at me like that? Don’t try and coddle me? Anything she said felt like a lie before she even spoke, which only added to the unnerving feeling building inside.
Andiz could afford to have such sentimentality. And at times, she wished she could as well. But what good would that do her now? She’d already given everything. Come so far in her quest. Forsaken her very being in pursuit of that monster’s head. To avenge Elena’s death. It was all that she knew anymore.
There was no sentimentality left for Zikee to offer. Nothing else mattered but killing the Silver Dragon with her own hands.
“Don’t,” Zikee said. “Save your sentiments for Ty. She still has enough left to accept them.”
She pulled away, rising in the process.
“Kiki?”
She was in no mood to indulge the healer.
None of this was her goal. None of this brought her closer to the Silver Dragon’s head. How could she hunt the other founders if she let herself be broken by the whims of the first person they’d found?
Zikee moved to the kitchen, pulling out their map of the nation. Several paths had already been marked off as spots they’d discovered and ransacked, the connected crosses marking a line of smoldering labs devoid of life. She updated it to include Nerania.
“The Silver Dragon is my goal, Andiz,” she said. “Healing the hurt is yours.”
Andiz put a hand over his heart.
“But you’re hurting, too, Kiki,” he said. “You always are.”
She almost wanted to laugh at that. Andiz knew her better than that. He must have known such words would only earn him vitriol. She was a warrior both before and after they’d been married. Pain was nothing but a blessing for a glorious fight.
And that’s what this was, wasn’t it? The hunt for the Silver Dragon. The hunt for the founders. Their dismantling of Project Ranger. Surely it was all one giant glorious fight. Perhaps the most dangerous fight she’d ever partaken in. It should have filled her with joy. It should have made her excited. Thrilled.
So why then did he continue to look at her with that gentle gaze? What was he trying to see in her? Zikee’s jaw tightened, unable to focus on the map and her husband at the same time. Did he have to be so kind? She ripped the map off the table.
“Andiz,” she said, her voice wavering if only slightly. “Are you or are you not with me? Because I cannot forgive what I am owed.”
Andiz grew quiet, his gaze falling away as he seemed to stand there for several seconds. Her gentle wing. The only light she had left in this dragon-fueled nightmare. His lips trembled as he spoke.
“Kiki,” he said. “What happens when we finally find the Silver Dragon?”
It wasn’t a difficult question to answer.
“We kill it.”
“And then what?” Andiz’s voice rose. “We just go back to farming like nothing ever happened? We toss out Ty? Scrub our hands of everything? Pretend like this was all some terribly lucid dream?”
His hands were shaking, a fire in the healer’s eyes Zikee seldom remembered seeing. It was enough to give her pause. The briefest of moments. Enough to remember she’d asked the question to herself many times before. Her voice was steady when she responded.
“Then we rest. We can let her rest.”
Andiz didn’t seem to take that response well, tears welling up in his eyes.
“Kiki. She’s dead.”
She didn’t respond, though she did find her hands gripping the table for support.
“She’s gone, Kiki. We have to-“
He cut off as she moved in front of him, placing both hands on his shoulders.
If any other person had said those words, she would have driven them straight through a window. No, even he would have been cut in half if he’d said those words years ago. That first day he found her. When she’d been nothing but a crumpled mess lying in the dirt. Her gentle wing. Her only light.
It was only a matter of time before she had to pluck it out.
“Andiz,” she said. “Take care of our dragon friend.”
His eyes flickered with realization, mouth tightening as she could see the desperation long before his words came. But they were words that fell on deaf ears as she’d already pulled away.
“Kiki. Kiki, where are you going? Kiki!”
There was no end where she could see her gentle wing retaining that light in his gaze. She knew that. She’d always known that. How could she tear out the Silver Dragon’s throat and expect Andiz to look at her the same afterwards? To still see her as the woman he’d fallen in love with. No. Either he would only see a savage or he would end up throwing away his humanity as well.
And she wanted neither fate to befall the man who’d saved her life.
“Kiki. Don’t.”
The door slammed shut behind her, her expression hardening despite how quiet Andiz’s voice had become.