"Lyle," I said, surprised by who was standing in my doorway. 

He looked terrible,  ears down and shoulders hunched. Not to mention it was late Saturday night. "Come in, " I invited him when he didn't say anything. "Rough night?" 

"Had a fight with Melinda." 

I could only respond with "oh." 

"I dont' want to think about it." He came in and I gestured toward the couch. "Do you have anything to drink?"

An hour later, lights were out and the glow of the television was the only thing that illuminated the room. 

"She's such a bitch sometimes." He said, clearly drunk now. "I want to spend a little money on a video game, and she says we need to put that in our savings. Like, I put ten times the amount of the cost of the video game in savings every month! Suddenly it's 'you'd rather spend more time playing stupid video games than with me.' Fuckin bitch literally goes out every weekend for 'girl time'.'"

No wonder why I'm gay, I think to myself. 

Lyle ranted for several more minutes about similar hypocrisies while going back for another drink occasionally. He was clearly drinking with the intention to get drunk. 

I kept my arms folded across myself and just listened to him rant. He clearly had a lot to get off his chest. I admit I was uncomfortable. I was in love with Lyle, and hearing about his marriage troubles only made me uncomfortable. I would do whatever I could to make Lyle happy - it's come at great cost. 

"Like, she just wants me to pay for her lifestyle and shove all the responsibility on to me. It's like, anything I do for myself, she's angry that it's not for her! She even told me that if I'm going to be playing video games all day, then she won't let me have sex with her! Like bitch, please, you're not even that good at it!"

One thing that I didn't want to think about was how the love of my life was having sex with someone who takes him for granted. I looked away from the television and away from Lyle the emotional pain hit. 

"Ah shit, I'm sorry Leo." Lyle said, his voice calming down from his rant, but clearly drunk. He stayed silent, and I felt he was awkwardly glancing towards me. "I-I... I don't mean to bring up my marriage troubles to you. Especially you. You're just... my best friend." 

I turned toward him and gave him a weak smile. "It's alright," I clearly lied. "I don't mind." Even though it did bother me, I wanted to be there for him. But this wasn't the first time he complained about his marriage to me, and his grievances always seem to get swept under the rug and they go on this pattern of repeating this cycle every few weeks. 

"No... I mean, I am sorry," Lyle said as his gaze fell back to the now empty glass. He seemed to pause for a few moments before he leaned back against the couch, and slumped over to rest his head on my shoulder. "I think I drank too much," he said with a small hiccup. "I know you hate to hear about this stuff." 

I felt bad that he was like this, but him resting his head on my shoulder, and initiating intimate contact....All I did was put an arm around him and welcome him into my embrace. He scooted closer to me, and put an arm around my chest, pointing his nose towards my neck as we truly hugged. 

We stayed like that for a bit, the movie still idly playing in front of us. 

I could sense that he wasn't watching the movie, there clearly was more bottling up inside him that he needed to vent. "You can tell me anything you want, Lyle. I don't mind." 

Lyle then giggled, which was unexpected. "No, it's not that... I was just thinking that I'm glad I can sit with you like this. She would have asked what did I want by now."

I hated to admit it but Lyle praising me over his wife did feel nice. Really nice. 

"Any time I wanted to just do something nice, she always implies that I want something out of it, or I'm covering up for something. It's so infuriating. Like can't I just want to cuddle for a night?" 

Lyle emphasized that by turning his body more towards me as he nuzzled into my neck. I could smell the booze from his breath. I didn't make any move to stop him though. Even if I was getting aroused by his affection. 

"You've always been there for me, Leo," he said more gently this time. His paw rested over my heart and idly caressed my chest through my shirt. "You're my best friend. I know you've been in love with me and you wanted more..."

My ears drooped at that. I hadn't brought that up in years.

"I... we can still laugh together. I like spending time with you... We can play video games, talk about nerdy things, we can talk about work, go drinking and talk about anything! And it's always fun... I like being around you." The tone of his voice was clear that he was reminiscing our friendship. "What you and I have is..."

He went quiet for a bit. I didn't know what to say. I was tipsy and was afraid I admit something stupid, like all the times I was so close to begging Lyle to give me a chance... all the times I cried uncontrollably.. all the times I was so angry I punched holes in the wall...

"Leo," he said, and lifted his head to look me in the eyes. He moved, nearly standing up before turning to face me as I sat on the couch. He kneeled over me, his knees on either side of my hips as he looked down into my eyes. He cupped my cheek before sensually leaning down to kiss me. 

My heart kicked off like a race horse - my head started to spin even more and the alcohol only amplified the sensation. What was Lyle doing!? Despite my confusion, I melted as he kissed me. My cock grew rock hard almost instantly in my pants, not that it took much from being half mast since he started to cuddle me. I returned his kiss. 

His left paw explored my side before sliding down to my pants, quickly going to my fly and clearly grabbing at my erection through my pants. My eyes shot wide open. I pushed him off me and stood up real quick. 

"What the..." he seemed confused and frustrated at the same time. 

So many emotions swirled in me that I felt dizzy, again amplified by the booze. 

"Lyle, you're married! Don't do this to me, please...." He looked up at me confused, regathering his posture as he sat normally in the couch after being thrown off of me. "You're drunk. Don't make me the reason your marriage fails..." Tears started to flood my eyes. I sacrificed so much to make sure Lyle would be happy - he couldn't cheat on his wife with me; it'd make all those horrible nights worthless. "We can't have sex!"

Leo stood up and put a paw on my shoulder. I was starting to cry. I so badly wanted this to happen... but for years I've built up the fortitude to accept that it couldn't. I was in love with him since we were kids, and I had to accept that he wanted to date only girls, and I suffered through his wedding night so he'd be happy. I wanted nothing more than for him to tell me that he's reconsidered entering a relationship with me, but if I told him that... 

He seemed to read my mind though. "Leo... I'm going to ask Melinda for a divorce.." He pulled me into a hug, and his drunken hands started to wander again. 

"Damn it Lyle!" I pushed him away again. "You're just saying that because you're angry.. and drunk!" I started to walk away, my emotions a tempest and causing me to freely cry. 

Before I got very far, just beyond the couch, Lyle forcefully stopped me by pushing me against the wall, and he pinned me there looking serious and into my eyes. "Shut up Leo! Yes I'm drunk, and I thought about it for a long time. Melinda... this marriage is just so fuckin transactional.. she implies it all the time. I thought it'd be like what you and I have.. but it's fuckin awful. Why did I get married to her in the first place? Because I thought it was what I was supposed to do, and it makes miserable." 

"Lyle..." I said weakly, feeling all my resolve melt... "Please.. don't give me hope..."

"I want you to be my boyfriend Leo." Those words.... Those exact words.. I waited nearly ten years to hear, since I was twelve. I had given up when Lyle got married... I vowed to respect his marriage and to give up.. now he's saying these words?!

"I..." My heart was on a rollercoaster right now, and I could not calm myself... Only the phrase I screamed in my mind for the last year came up. "You're married though... if.. if you're.. getting a divorce.. I don't want to be the reason she hurts you by sleeping with you now. What if she--"

"Shut the fuck up Leo," Lyle said before pushing his body into mine, arms wrapping around me and him biting my neck right under my chin. 

I melted, "o-ooh". Bastard knows that I submit instantly when he does this. My knees grew weak, my dick throbbed in my pants and I could do nothing but wrap my arms around him to keep myself from sinking to the floor. 

He nibbled at my neck and it took all my resistance away. I felt his fingers undo my fly, and he cupped my raging hard on, just feeling it through my boxers. 

Eventually he stopped nibbling at my neck, and I felt strength return to my knees. I looked into his eyes and he maneuvered me back to the couch, and slowly pushed me onto it, with him following on top of me. 

He freed my erection, and it stood up twitching towards my belly. Lyle threw my pants aside, and hesitated when his gaze fell on my hard dick. I expected him to jump on top of me, mount me and fuck me till we howled. So when he started to move between my legs and spread my thighs, I looked down at him a bit confused. 

Without saying a word, Lyle reached out for my dick and touched it so gently at first. It twitched at his touch. He scooted closer on his knees, seemingly entranced by my dick. I said nothing but watched curiously. His paw wrapped around my dick and simply caressed it before he put his muzzle against it and gently nuzzled it. I was breathing heavily as I watched him do this; he seemed to just be savoring it, his paw gently moving up and down, and just feeling it while he nuzzled his soft cheek fur on it. 

His tongue lapped out at my dick a few times and his other paw came up to cup my balls. His licks got a little more directed, licking the underside of my shaft up to my tip. I couldn't help but to let soft moans escape, and I exhaled sharply when opened his maw and put half my dick inside. He suckled on it lightly like a lollipop before he went back to nuzzling it. 

"I've missed this," he said, his eyes finally looking up at me. For fuck's sake, the only person I ever loved was looking up at me with puppy eyes, while my dick was standing against his muzzle, twitching from his touch. "I've missed playing with your cock. Feeling it, hearing you breathe and moan as I did. Knowing that you enjoy my touch." 

I smiled shyly at that before I chuckled. "I'm the one madly in love with you. So take off your pants already, and let me see yours." 

Lyle smiled broadly at that statement. Before he moved out from between my legs, he swallowed my dick, wrapped his lips and pressed his tongue against it while he slowly and sloppily pulled off my dick. The warm muzzle, the slight suction and the moist tongue made me moan and lift my hips involuntary; my dick did not want to be free of that muzzle. "Fuck, Lyle," I breathed as my dick slipped free of his muzzle. 

He did as promised though, and stood up while hastily removing his pants. My breathing stayed heavy as I watched his pants lower, down past his hips, getting caught up on his obvious erection. He reached a paw down the front of his pants, and pulled his dick free so the clothing could easily fall off. 

There it was. His red, hard and twitching dick. In front of me, fully exposed and eager for my touch. I moved to the edge of the couch, so that his dick was right in front of my nose before he had even gotten his pants past his knees. My arms wrapped around his waist while I pressed my cheek to his dick. How many times we've played with each others dicks when we were younger.. and I still craved it. I was not religious but his dick was the holiest of all objects in the world as far as I was concerned. 

I rubbed my cheek against it's hard length, savoring the feel of it. A quiet whine escape me was as I buried my nose between his balls and thigh. I nudged his balls with my nose as they loosely fell onto the top of my muzzle, and I breathed in his scent. I have wanted to feel this again for years. 

Lyle's paw rested on top of my head as I continued to worship his dick with nuzzles and gentle licks. I took it into my maw, and gently sucked on him, going up and down his length a few times before going back to nuzzling. I loved him, and I loved feeling his dick, loved being able to bring him pleasure and loved that he'd let me. 

"Kileona..." he moaned while I swallowed his dick again. "...Let me lie down with you." 

I jealously continued to suck him off, using my tongue to give his dick a tight embrace in my muzzle while I went up and down on him. His paw on my head however started to insistently push me back off his dick. I slipped off, but pressed my cheek against his dick as I looked up into his eyes. He was looking down at me with a loving, and horny smile. 

"I guess you really missed my cock too," he said gently. I let out a soft chuckle and nuzzled against his dick again in agreement. He placed his paws on my shoulders and pushed me back against the couch, my arms slipping off from hugging his waist. He pushed me to lie down across the couch's length as he climbed up and sat on my thighs, with our balls resting on each other, and lengths twitching side by side. 

"We have all night," he said, as he leaned over me. "So no need for you to suck me off so quickly." He leaned down ad kissed me again. 

Small movement woke me up. Brought from my slumber, the memories of last night came back. I didn't drink enough for a hangover, but I felt my mind slow to wake up. 

"Leo," he said still petting my back. "There's something I want to ask. It's been bothering me for a really long time."

"Hm?" I responded basking in the love that I let free for Lyle, and adoring his every breath, every touch, and ever caress. I couldn't help but to nuzzle against his chest. 

"I was really worried when you disappeared my wedding night," Lyle continued. The mention of that night caused me to hesitate. But Lyle did not cease rubbing my back in a loving way, making me feel comforted. "I was... pretty distracted. I didn't hear from you for three days afterward and you avoided the topic... Where'd you go?"

My ears flattened and looked down at nothing in particular while we laid cuddling in bed. I knew he knew I lied to him about that night, but he never brought it up again seeing how I reacted to the question. 

Without saying anything for a while, Lyle nuzzled between my ears and continued to pet my back. "Please tell me." I still didnt' respond. "I know me asking you to be there... was.. selfish of me. But I really got worried when you disappeared. I want to know what happened." 

"Nothing happened," I muttered, barely making a sound. "It was... just.. a ba... a rough night for me."

Lyle said nothing but continued to soothe me. He let me speak at my own pace. "Watching you ... get married to someone else...I.. I couldn't keep it together." Tears started to glaze over my eyes, bringing myself back to that night. "I honestly don't know how I managed to stay calm as long as I did. Every moment, was like.. I was trying so hard not to scream.... It was agonizing."

Lyle still only pet and caressed me while I spoke and he waited patiently for me to continue. 

"I didn't want you to see me leave," I continued. "So when I saw a chance, I took it and left. I didn't want to go home, and I didn't know where to go so I just drove. I didn't 'quite make it far. I pulled off the road  and just cried..." I hesitated while remembering it. "I never felt.. like that before. When I've cried before, it felt like my heart hurt, but this... felt like a.. a void. I had no control over it, I couldn't suppress it, I couldn't stop it.... It.. It consumed me."

Despite reliving the worst night of my life, I focused on the naked fur in front of me and gently moved my own claws through the fur on his chest. 

"Even.. sitting in the car was too much.. I had to get out. I couldn't lift myself.. it was pathetic.. I was on the ground wailing. It hurt so damn much... I couldn't get up.. not for three hours.." 

I took a deep breath and sighed. 

"I wanted nothing more than for you to call or text me...but... if I checked my phone... then I'd just be hanging onto that hope I always had... that hope that I knew was forever dead... So I turned my phone off for a while." 

I said nothing more, and Lyle never stopped caressing me but didn't respond while we stayed cuddled there for a while. I never thought I'd have the strength to tell him all that. But his comforting embrace did not waver. That and I had his dried cum still on my tailhole, and my dry cum on both our bellies from the night before. 

"Leo..." he finally spoke up. "I am so, so sorry I put you through that." Now was my time to remain silent as I let him speak. He took a deep breath. "I was so worried I felt nauseous those days I didn't hear from you... It honestly made me realize how much I needed you... " He let out a heavy sigh. "And I was still so fuckin stupid.. I only cared to hear back from you.. Melinda got pretty upset that I wasn't focused on being newlyweds but I just desperately wanted you to tell me you were okay."

A small whimper escaped from me. I did not like that my tantrum affected Lyle's marriage so early on.. made it seem like the marriages failure is even more my fault now. 

"When you did finally responded, I was so relieved.,. But your tone had changed. You were different after the wedding.. like you were more distant. I supposed you were trying not to interfere with my marriage... but I also suspected you were pissed off with me... Were.. were you angry with me?"

I didn't respond right away while I thought about it. I was certainly pissed with Lyle. No, I was furious with him. I wanted to hurt him the way he hurt me.... all to hope that he'd learn how much I loved him. But also.. it was just easier to cope that way. 

"I was... very angry for a while," I answered truthfully.. "It... was easier to accept reality that way.. To be angry at you, it hurt less.. less than being in love with you and knowing I can never have you.... because of your stupid insistence on a 'normal' relationship. A relationship with Melinda, who seemed to trying to drive you away from me." 

Lyle remained quiet. His paw never ceased to stop rubbing my back though. 

"And everytime I thought you were mad at her and finally ready to break it off with her... she'd start being flirty again, and ignore whatever you two fought about before... it was manipulation 101.. " I was actually starting to get upset talking about it now, and Lyle sensed it as my breathing got faster, but he responded by pulling me in a tighter embrace. Thruthfully I had gotten myself worked up because I greatly feared that their fight last night will just be a repeat of their usual process... was Lyle going to just ignore all his grievances again when she waves that 'have a normal relationship' in front of his face again? 

"I know Leo," Lyle said, trying to calm me down again with a tighter hug. "I.. I honestly was afriad you were going to never talk to me again... and that terrified me. I know she dangled the hopes I had of doing 'what I was supposed' in front of me like a carrot, and I followed each time. But Leo.. I love you Leo. I always have."

Even though I had worked myself up, and was still upset, I clutched possessively onto Lyle. My lip started to quiver and my tears finally fall. I grabbed on to his fur tightly with one question repeating over and over in my mind. Lyle squeezed me hard when my body started to shake with sobs, and suppressed growls and it just made me more upset. My emotions were taking control, all because of this one question. 

"Why, Lyle?" I asked suddenly, pushing myself away from him to look at him. My lips were curled and growls rumbled but I was also freely crying and sobs shook my core. "Why'd you put me through all that pain? Why wasn't I good enough?"

Lyle was surprised by this sudden outburst. His arms were no longer pulling me into a hug since I pushed away from him, and even his pets had stopped. 

"I was so patient..." I continued. "I gave you space.. I didn't bother you.. I didn't pressure you, I tried so hard to be a good friend... to show you my love, and you never wanted.. me..."

Through my blurred vision I could see the hurt expression Lyle wore. Still sobbing I pressed my forehead into his chest so that I no longer had to look at him, but wanted desperately to stay cuddled up with him. "Why now? I tried so hard for so long..." I wasn't even sure what I was talking about... I tried to get over Lyle for so long and now that I thought I was finally moving on, he goes and fucks me lovingly last night proclaiming his love for me. I tried for so long to show him that I'd be a good boyfriend for him, and that we practically were in everything but name before. 

I felt Lyle's chest suddenly jerk, a few times. He hugged me painfully tight, and it was clear that he was crying now too. "I'm so sorry Leo... I really am. I was... I don't know...I was afraid of giving up the life I always wanted... a wife, kids. I'm sorry Leo. You are an amazing cat, and I wish I could've just said yes that night you asked me if we were boyfriends."

It took a few minutes for us to calm down. "Leo, you were always good enough for me. Too good for me. Do you know how many times I wished you were a girl? That I'd just be able to ask you out? Hell, I even thought about proposing to you, if only you were a girl."

It's a scenario I had thought of before, but ... "I wouldn't want to be a girl Lyle. I like having a dick." 

Lyle chuckled weakly at that. "I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. Besides, I like your dick quite a bit too." 

I also weakly chuckled at that, and my ears fell back a bit from a blush. Tears still fell from my eyes. 

"I took you for granted, Leo," Lyle continued to answer. "I now realize that I fell in love with you a long time ago. I thought that if I got a girlfriend, it would be like us... but... I don't know, better? A wife and a couple of kids, because that's how we're raised." Lyle took a heavy breath, and I felt myself rise up as his chest rose before slowly falling back down. "I kept convincing myself that Melinda and my relationship would improve... but I started to talk to others and how they were also having trouble... Maybe Melinda is going too far a lot of the time but if marriage is nothing like what you and I have... I don't want it." 

Lyle's paw gently came to cup my jaw, and he gently positioned me to look up at him. I resisted lightly at first, but he insisted and I opened my eyes to gaze at him. He had a soft smile, cheeks still damp from tears and he looked down at me lovingly. My cheeks were soaked with tears and eyes still glazed over with them. 

"I want you. I realize now that I have always loved you. Leo, you're the only one for me." 

His tongue lapped out at my lips and he leaned in for a gentle kiss. My heart that had its old wounds reopen moments ago now felt lighter from his words and his expression of love. 

"Lyle," I whispered once he broke the kiss. My eyes were still closed and I was slow to reopen them. I didn't know what to say. I basked in his love, in his embrace and in his confession of love. Purrs started to roll out of me louder than I've had done so in years. I shamelessly pushed my head against under his chin in an affectionate nuzzle. 

We stayed there for several more minutes, exchanging pets, licks and kisses. I focused on enjoying the moment and pushed all other thoughts out of my mind. Even my half-hard erection pressing against his erection went ignored. 

Eventually we got up, due to our stomachs growling and bladders full of alcohol turned to water. We showered quickly, rinsing out the dried cum before heading to the kitchen for breakfast. I gladly cooked up some food for Lyle, a little scared to ask what we were going to do now. 

"So Leo," Lyle hesitantly brought up while I continued cooking some eggs. The mood noticeably dropped from our lovely morning.  "I'm not going to tell Melinda about the divorce yet. I know how she is and she'll try everything she can to talk me out of it." 

My ears fell and my body drooped. I was facing toward the stovetop though so Lyle couldn't see my frown. 

"I'm going to contact a divorce lawyer tomorrow," Lyle continued, and he his voice was still hesitant. "Melinda knows about your feelings towards me, and she's accused me plenty of times of being in love with you... I guess she was right on that part. I expect she's going to accuse you as the reason of the divorce. It's going to get messy." I could sense where he was going with this. "I... don't know how this is going to go. But I really don't want to get you involved and give her any excuse to drag it out." 

I turned off the stove top and leaned against the counter, lowering my head and taking a deep breath. Lyle was making sense, but it still wasn't what I'd like to hear. Without hearing him, Lyle stepped up behind me and leaned his whole body against my back, wrapping his arms around me and resting his head on my shoulder. His affection caused me to learn back against him in appreciation of his embrace. The fact that he was still naked from this morning also got my heart rate increasing and blood going to my groin. 

"I very much enjoyed last night," he said quietly to me. One of his paws wrapped around me teasingly lowered toward my groin but stopped at my navel. "I'd love nothing more than to spend more time with you. I'd move in today if I could."

I quietly purred, but didn't not saying anything any response. He knows from the many times I've suggested that he move in that I greatly desire him to live with me. 

"We will get through this," Lyle continued, nuzzling my neck. "I am sorry to have to ask you to continue to be patient. I'm also sorry that I shouldn't be over here alone anymore with you because Melinda will use it against me. But we will be together soon, for real this time." 

"Lyle," I said and I twisted and turned in his embrace to face him. "I love you so much. Please, just anything, be safe during the divorce. If she upsets you and you were to get hurt somehow..." 

"Leo," the cat chuckled and looked me in the eyes. "Don't worry. I'll call you and we go out somewhere with friends. That way I'm with good company and Melinda won't be able to use me spending time with you against us during the divorce."