-- Chapter 8: Presents of Mind --

Suki got back home on Earth safely. The day after he did, he went to Audrey's house. He had a present for him. He walked up to the door and knocked on it. Audrey swung the door open, picked Suki up and squeezed him. Suki's back cracked. At least, Audrey hoped it was his back. "So, did you get probed?" Audrey asked teasingly as he rubbed Suki's ear. "Maybe." Suki giggled. "I got something for you." Suki ran back to his car, which was his usual Lexus - I mean, Toyota.

Suki set the gift-wrapped present on Audrey's coffee table. It was pretty large - about 18 inches long, 15 inches wide and 10 inches tall. It was wrapped in floral wrapping paper full of Ergonian fruit-bearing plants. Audrey unwrapped it surprisingly methodically for someone of his demeanour, carefully pulling tape off and tearing along the lines. It was a grey Sterilite tote. Audrey's eyes met Suki's. They both smiled at each other. Audrey popped the top of the tote off. It was full of factory-sealed diecast toy cars. They were packed into the tote in the same manner that Mattel's factories packed them in. But there were more than just Mattel cars in the totes.

"Man, this must have cost a fortune." Audrey said, looking over the tote and not knowing where to start. "I think it was about 3,780 credits." Suki said nonchalantly. Audrey's eyes widened. "That's $40, silly." Suki giggled and smiled. Audrey let out a relieved whistle. He loved being gifted diecast from his friends, but felt bad if they paid too much for them. Suki broke the ice and pulled out two of the cars. They were the exact same release - a 2001 Hot Wheels First Editions MS-T Suzuka - but one was almost identical to the Earth release, and one had a package with only Ergonese writing on it.

"Uh, what language is this, exactly?" Audrey asked confusedly. "Ergonese." Suki said. "They only have one language." Suki pointed out all of the letters of Hot Wheels on the card. "Can you... pull out the next cars for me? Stephanie always does that for me when I get new cars." Audrey said in a surprisingly meek manner. Suki nodded and smiled. He pulled out another car. It was a dead-mint Johnny Lightning Custom Spoiler in red. It was a common casting, but it looked like an original 1970 release. "No fucking shit!" Audrey said. It looked like his soul left his body when he took the card from Suki. "Where'd you find this?!" He said, exasperated. "Some department store. All these are from the same one. I tried to grab a variety of cars." Suki said.

"So this is brand new?!" Audrey asked. Suki nodded. He took the card and pointed to the bottom of the cardback. Suki read it aloud. "© 2001 Playing Mantis, Inc. Mishkeena, FY. MADE IN CIAOSHEN" It was the same copyright notice that the 1990s re-releases of the 1970s cars had, but Ergonified. Suki pointed to another line of text next to the copyright notice. It was a serial number. Suki read it for him. "2001 02 16... Y means it's from the Topper line, and the rest is the sequence number. So this was the 487th car made in that line that day. All companies are required to print the date of manufacture in the serial number to aid in the event of a recall and to avoid fraud in the second-hand market. The serial numbers are required to be put on the packaging and the product itself." Suki pointed out the same serial number on the bottom of the car. "Can't you just... scrape that off and defraud people?" Audrey asked. "The same way you can remove the VIN off a car or file off the serial number off of a gun to defraud people." Suki said. Oh. That makes sense.

"So... are Toppers just... worthless?" Audrey asked, setting the car aside with the other. "Not really, no. Ones with the original 1969-1971 serial numbers are still valuable. After that, they were bought out and produced by the government - that's the Preservation Act at work." Suki explained to Audrey the same way as Haji had explained him. "Rad." Audrey said. Suki took out another car, this one was a Matchbox. He handed it to Audrey. "What fucking casting is this?" Audrey scrutinised the car. "That is a 1998 Takagegi Mossoko GTi." Suki told him as if Audrey was supposed to know what that meant. The car was a sport compact painted in a metallic white colour, with a dark grey stripe on the side reading "GTi." Audrey looked as if he had lost the plot.

"I'm guessing this is some Oregonian car that no Earthling has ever seen before?" Audrey asked, although it was almost a statement. Suki nodded. "So there are... Pull out another one." Audrey began to ask, but switched to instructing firmly midway through. Suki pulled out a Majorette car, a Nissan 300 ZX. "Okay. Got it. Ergon has its own cars, but also those from Earth." Audrey said as if he was trying to keep himself grounded. Then Suki hit him with the Eagle from Carmageddon in a Hot Wheels package. It looked to be from the 100% line. "Well. That's a new spin on 'adult collectable." Audrey said as he set it with the others.

"This one is special!" Suki said, failing to hide his excitement. He pulled out another car. It had a slightly different packaging design. It had a round, offset hook that let the car dangle from the pegs while staying upright. It had a push tab on the plastic blister like a Matchbox car would. The car was another Ergonian design. Audrey didn't recognise the brand logo. "What... is it?" Audrey said, curiously inspecting the case. "They're called Zipptraks. Spelt with two P's and no C. They came out in 1970 as a response to Hot Wheels. They were the sole other survivor of the low-friction boon. They're a subsidiary of the Ermini Corporation, which was the first diecast car company native to Ergon. I got every Ermini and Zipptrak they had, which accounts for half of this tote." Suki said and started pulling them out two, three, four at a time. Audrey was overwhelmed in the best way. "Erminis became the cheaper, more kid-friendly, more durable line from them." Suki said as he continued to take cars out.

"This is one of their premiums. I only got one of them because they were $5 a piece." Suki handed Audrey a highly detailed casting of some Ergonian pony car. "Guess when that line came out." Suki said as he continued fishing Erminis out. "Eh, nineteen ninety... eight? I would guess, to compete with Playing Mantis." Audrey said, inspecting the car. "1974." Suki said. "No." Audrey said in disbelief. "The Ergonians are trustworthy. They wouldn't lie about that." Suki said. "So you're telling me... right in the middle of the diecast crash... these fuckos come out with Johnny Lightning 20 years early?!" Audrey asked as he ate the scenery. Suki nodded. "How the fuck did they do that?!" Audrey continued. "The government makes these." Suki told. "That's how important cars are to those people." Suki put the last of the Ermini cars out. Thirty of them were piled up on the coffee table. "They only make Ergonian cars, as you can probably tell."

"These are super cool." Suki said. He pulled out a Lexus SC 400 with Hot Wheels branding, but it was in a 1960s-style package and had a candy blue paint job and removable wheels. It even included a "collector button." "This was $3.29." Suki didn't have to explain the car to Audrey. It was a modern Hot Wheels car built the same as they were in 1968. The cars were marketed on Ergon as the Spectraflame series. "Fuck, that's cool. As you said, I suppose." Audrey said.

Suki pulled out a little yellow box with Matchbox branding (in Ergonese). "These were a lot cheaper. But I spent most of my budget on Erminis." Audrey took the car out of the box. It was an Opel Omega B with opening front doors and a trunklid. It had simple black wheels with "mushroom cap" axles on a flat chassis like an early Matchbox car would. Audrey was sent for a loop - either by such a modern car being in such an antiquated style, or because the Omega was never made by Matchbox, despite it being perfect for the brand. I mean, they released a Vectra A in 1990 after all.

The last two were bigger boxes. "This one cost as much as that Eagle, but it was just too cool." Suki took out a Dinky Toys model of a Citroen Xsara. "Dude." Audrey said, holding the box. He gently took it out of the box. Audrey was amazed by how on point the models were, both in quality and the choice of models to replicate. He began to get the same "alternate universe/dream" vibe that Suki experienced almost constantly on Ergon. Suki pulled the last box out. It was a 5-pack of Micro Machines. It was a cross-promotion with Need for Speed: High Stakes and featured five cars from the game, replicated in the classic, original 1987 level of detail. "I might have bought one of these for myself. That was about five bucks." Suki said with a smile.

Audrey looked at his coffee table full of diecast. Suki sat by him. Audrey shook his head and smiled, before giving Suki a big kiss. Audrey loved his imported diecast, so he was as happy as a peach. "Oh!" Suki left the house quickly, as if he had left the gas on at home. He returned with another present. It looked like another diecast car, but this one was individually wrapped. Suki gave it to Audrey. He carefully unwrapped it. It was a 4" action figure packaged with a highly detailed 1/64 scale car. It was made by Ermini and had Action Racing League branding. The driver was Hroxx K'lar, according to the packaging.

"I know you're not into action figures, but this one looked cool." Suki said meekly as he sat down next to Audrey. "That's fine... this is cool." Audrey said, inspecting the box. "I love the presentation. Very Gen X." He said. "There's something else related to that that I was allowed to have. But it's top secret, understand?" Suki said. Audrey nodded. Suki pulled a VHS tape from his hoodie's pocket. It had a plain black sleeve with a cut-out for the label. The label read "ARL PROMO 2001 :60" in Ergonese. Suki turned the living room TV and VCR on. He put the tape in and hit play.

It was the same promo that Ketarca had shown Suki earlier. The two were silent as the tape played, and for a few moments after it stopped. Suki went to rewind the tape. "Fuck." Audrey said. "When can I watch that?!" He bellowed. "It's supposed to be a secret. Ugh. I knew I shouldn't have brought the tape... Well..." Suki said, taking the tape out of the VCR. "This September, they're gonna run the first season of the ARL to be held on Earth. I can get you tickets." Suki said to Audrey as he gave him the tape. Audrey gave him a big kiss. "You mean the world to me, kid." Audrey told Suki. "Love you, too. Big dork." Suki smiled back.

-- Epilogue: Crush on Me --

Back on Ergon, Woxres found a spot for the AA in his museum. He was writing its story down in a notebook. Across the street, Zest and Xeagan were filming a video in Ergonese. "Well, guys, what do you think? I've been telling you for years that I'd get access to a scrapyard for some crushes." Zest said to the camera as she walked through the scrapyard. "What mark are we looking for, again?" Xeagan asked. "A big X on the roof." "Like this?" Xeagan had come upon a little blue 3-door hatchback that had its rear end smashed in. The axle was snapped in half. Xeagan ripped the passenger door - which was already buckled - clean off of its hinges. Zest cheered for her. Xeagan threw the door down as if it didn't weigh any more than an empty cardboard box.

Zest gave Xeagan the camera. "So, yeah, this is a great opportunity for us... and you." Zest said as she climbed on top of the car. "The owner says we can rig and 'play with' any of the cars they have marked for crushing." Zest said before jumping ass-first onto the roof of the little car. It didn't fully collapse like a "rigged" car would, but she left a big, bear-shaped dent. "Thanks for watching, guys. We hope to see you soon."